After watching American Idol for five seasons, I think I should be sitting at the judges table with Paula, Simon, and Randy. Just kidding! But here’s what I would have added to the judges' comments last night if I was the fourth American Idol judge.

Rudy Cardenas' Performance of Free Ride
Randy: Corny.
Paula: Fantastic.
Simon: Not unique.
Latoya: Fun but forgettable.


Brandon Rogers' Performance of Rock With You
Randy: Weird here and there.
Paula: Great job.
Simon: Safe, predictable song.
Latoya: Hot guy. Not-so-hot performance


Sundance Head's Performance of Nights in White Satin
Randy: Pitchy all the way through.
Paula: You picked the wrong song.
Simon: You’ve gone right off since we first saw you. Like dad at a wedding.
Latoya: Sundance Head(ed) home? That was terrible.


Paul Kim's Performance of Careless Whisper
Randy: I like your potential.
Paula: You oversang the song. You were pitchy.
Simon: Very ordinary attempt. You’re not wowing.
Latoya: Not the best performance but I’m officially a Paul Kim fan!


Chris Richardson's Performance of I Don't Want to Be
Randy: I feel like the show just started.
Paula: Great arrangement. A lot of fun.
Simon: Your voice sounded very small in that song. Below standard.
Latoya: Move over, Justin Timberlake! I wasn’t digging the outfit though.


Nick Pedro's Performance of Now and Forever
Randy: Boring. Pitchy.
Paula: The magic kind of fell flat.
Simon: I didn’t think it was that bad. It wasn’t terrible.
Latoya: Heart-melting performance. Sigh!


Blake Lewis' Performance of Somewhere Only We Know
Randy: I kinda dug it.
Paula: I’m really proud of you. Vocals were spot on.
Simon: By far, best performance we’ve heard tonight.
Latoya: I didn’t even miss the beatboxing. Beautiful performance.


Sanjaya Malakar's Performance of Knocks Me Off My Feet
Randy: It was really bad.
Paula: I wish more of your personality came through.
Simon: It was the most dreary performance we’ve had all night. A waste of time performance.
Latoya: Aww! It wasn’t that bad.


Chris Sligh's Performance of Typical
Randy: Your voice was on point. I am a Chris fan.
Paula: You’re anything but typical.
Simon: I’m torn. I felt like I was at some weird student gig.
Latoya: I’d be first in line to buy a Chris Sligh CD.


Jared Cotter's Performance of Back at One
Randy: It was pretty good. Didn’t like the ending.
Paula: There’s more to you.
Simon: Unadventurous performance.
Latoya: I think we will welcome back Cotter next week.


AJ Tabaldo's Peformance of Never Too Much
Randy: Really, really good singer.
Paula: You can definitely sing.
Simon: Nothing great. Nothing terrible. Theme park performance.
Latoya: One of the best performances of the night.


Phil Stacey's Performance of I Could Ask for More
Randy: You get the best vocal prize of the night.
Paula: You just opened up and you were right on pitch.
Simon: The beginning was monstrous. I don’t think you nailed it. I think it was OK.
Latoya: They saved the best for last.