I sucked. No you sucked. No, YA’LL sucked…
As always, the show opens with the girls sitting around discussing who had the worst performance last week. Ambreal is on the phone crying to her father because she was in the bottom two. She asks him to pray for her, and he gives his baby girl words of encouragement. Heather beats herself up about her repeated profile shots. Bianca tells her to only do full frontal for the next shoot no matter what. Ebony cries that she is really trying to smile more and show personality, only to be criticized. A montage of her criticisms follow. The editors saved a shot of everyone that matters criticizing her. And they were right.A Lesson from Mr. Beckford
Model Tyson Beckford shows up unannounced to give the ladies a lesson on being a spokesperson. I vaguely remember Tyson losing the part of Winston to Taye Diggs in How Stella Got Her Groove Back because he couldn’t act, but I guess that doesn’t fall under the “spokesperson” category. Or maybe Taye wasn’t available. Anyhooooo, the ladies squeal and scream like he’s Santa Claus and they are getting ready to sit on his lap. After the excitement died down, he told each of them to grab one item from the kitchen, and sell it, remembering to make it sexy. Sara damn near performs an unmentionable sexual act on a popsicle. Somehow I got the feeling she was talking directly to Tyson and not at all concerned about selling it to us. Ebony’s delivery was more comical than sexy. I don’t even remember what she was trying to sell. Ambreal feeds Tyson a mango. She is in awe of him, and stands there while he gets another bite. I don’t know what Saleisha was selling either. I was distracted by her mullet. The other girls all get their 30 seconds with Tyson, and he’s satisfied that they are ready for their challenge the next day. As Tyson leaves the house, my thought is, “He sure looks bigger in magazines. And they say the camera adds 10 pounds.”Challenge Time!
The girls are divided into groups of three. They have to do a public service announcement for the Keep A Child Alive charity that gives aid to children with AIDS in Africa. Bianca, Lisa and Chantal’s spot is a take on “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil”. They have a great concept, but Bianca messed up her part of the speech. Heather, Jenah and Ambreal do a really good job, both speaking and visually, holding up signs that speak volumes about the plight of the children and give statistics that hit home. …Even though they got the name of the charity wrong. Ebony, Sarah and Saleisha drew Mother, Daughter, and Sister on their chests, and spoke about AIDS prevention education through the charity. I thought they did a really good job. Too bad the charity doesn’t actually do prevention, as was pointed out by the charity director. That little slip of the tongue cost them the prize. Heather, Jenah and Ambreal won, with each getting a $500 gift basket from Lisa Price, creator of Carol’s Daughter hair and skin care products. Heather, randomly picked, also gets a photo shoot for Carol’s Daughter, to be directed by none other than Mary J. Blige herself. Mary J. and Jada Pinkett Smith are the spokespeople most widely associated with Carol’s Daughter. At first, I thought it odd that Heather, of the Caucasian persuasion had won, but then I remembered that both Mary J. and Jada have weaves anyhow, so does it really matter? We’re all trying to tame the same thing ya’ll. Real or fake. Don’t hate. I guess Mary J. was feeling me, because her facial expression did not betray her confusion when she first saw Heather. In fact, she requested that she be given a tan before the shoot. Ouch. I must say, though, Heather did a damn good job at the shoot. Full frontal shots, great eye connection, she rocked it. Even Mary J. told her that she has “it.”Back at the house…
The girls were cold so they all decided to sit in a huge walk-in closet and eat pizza and chicken fingers. Damn those editors! I wanted to see one of them actually swallow their food! But back to them – Ebony told everyone she wanted to go home. So SHE’S that girl this season. Gotta have at least one. Bianca, looking more and more like Tisha Campbell on an old episode of “Martin,” got in the mirror and practiced squinting with her eyes open, like Tyra advised her to. Bianca said that Asperger'sSyndromeProfileGirl Heather is her biggest competition in the house because Heather doesn’t have to do anything for the camera to love her. Too bad Bianca isn’t Heather’s biggest threat. Just my opinion.Make it look good, or go home
At the photo shoot the next day, the girls are covered in recyclable materials. Heather wore aluminum cans. Chantal was shredded paper. Saleisha was car parts. She was looking a bit drab, so Jay Manuel told her to take a risk. She did, and she knocked the set over, sending tires a flyin’. Ebony was bubble wrap. Jay said she looked trampish, and even told folks not to “hi-five” her after the shoot, which she thought she’d nailed. Cardboard-clad Jenah took direction well. Jay noticed that Bianca, as oil, had been practicing her smile and eye movement and told her so. Lisa was plastic bottles. Nothing spectacular about either her or Sarah, who wore garbage bags. Ambreal was newspaper. Jay said she looked inexperienced. He told her not to force it and asked when she forgot how to model.Back at the house, Ambreal says she is ready to quit, but she isn’t going to, so in essence, she’s just having another pity party. Ebony repeats that she’s ready to leave. She says all of the criticism is unfair. Blah Blah Blah. Did she think models don’t get criticized, at all?
