James - Gone But Not Forgotten
Sharon is sad that James is gone, but knows that it means she needs to pull her game up as the last man standing of her alliance. This sensible statement is juxtaposed with Natalie’s rambling about the number theory of the nines and how James was meant to go last week because it was the end of his ninth life. She also knows how happy this will make Matt and she, like the rest of us, lives her life to bring pleasure to Matt.After James’ exit the final five group hug and congratulate themselves for making it this far, and someone states that “they can do it.” Well, one of you can and one of you will. Sometimes it seems like they forget winning isn’t a joint venture.
Sheila claims she is a woman and a mom. Good to know. Oh there’s more…being a woman and a mom it’s hard for her when anyone is evicted. I guess the alternative she would prefer is that no one leave and this season goes on indefinitely until they all die of natural causes. The unending BB season - it haunts the nightmares of recappers everywhere.
Sheila’s HOH - Charity Begins at Home
Do you want to see Sheila’s HOH room? Me neither, but we must so let’s go. There’s some pictures of her kid, her family, and a shot of herself at about 25. Adam wishes “that chick was in the house instead of this thing.” If Adam leaves there will be no one left worth watching. At least he brings the funny.Sheila doesn’t trust Natalie to protect her next week, she thinks if Natalie wins HOH she will put Sheila on the block. Cut to Natalie telling Ryan she will do just this. Then Sheila and Natalie talk and vow to stick to the plan, since it isn’t rocket science. Did you get all of that? Trust no one, how hard is that to remember?
Romantic Aspirations of the Hamsters
And since the editors can’t possibly show anything regarding interesting strategy we are treated to a conversation about what the hamsters find attractive in the opposite sex. Adam likes a pretty face (how unusual) and a chick who isn’t afraid to talk dirty. He and Ryan talk about not wanting a “butterface” - which for those of you who aren’t familiar with the term refers to an ugly girl with a hot body. It’s short for “everything is good but her face.” This was the first of two nods to the feed watchers as Ryan and Adam had called Natalie a butterface earlier in the week.Natalie likes a nice face and chest on a man. They all agree that Matt had a nice chest, which Adam says is why Natalie was kissing it. The look on her face was priceless and this was the second little gift from the editors to the feed watchers. It references the ongoing riposte between the guys and Natalie where she denies - specific activities involving Matt. She claims nothing happened, (apparently Natalie’s brain comes with a rewind and erase feature. That’s handy.) so when the guys get bored and want to mess with her they will reference this. Wait till she gets out and finds out that even though it never happened there are videos of it all over YouTube.
Too bad she doesn’t know she’s being recorded.
Sharon likes a guy with nice eyes and nice teeth. Natalie is more specific preferring nice guys who are sensitive, tall, and football players. And also jerks who are insensitive, short, and roofers, but she leaves that part out.
Sheila wants a man who’s a combination of Dr. Will and Evel Dick. To illustrate this point the editors morph both guys faces together into an image that did no one any favors.
The Nomination Ceremony
Natalie has no fears about being nominated. Sharon is nervous that this week the pawn will become the target as the last of the evildoers. In what Bizzaro universe do they live where Sharon is the evildoer?Sheila said she’s finally playing the game. Wow, two months in and she is entering the arena, way to pace yourself Sheila.
At the nomination ceremony Sheila is crying - if you can just assume Sheila is always crying it would save me a lot of typing. Natalie and Ryan are safe which leave Sharon and Adam up on the block. Adam is hoping that he’s up as a decoy and they are still full speed ahead on the plan to evict Natalie if Sharon is saved with the POV. Sharon isn’t surprised - which isn’t a surprise.
Things Natalie Doesn’t Know
Natalie doesn’t know the entire house is on board with evicting her this week. Add this to the very long list of things Natalie doesn’t know. For example she also doesn’t know that it’s possible to live a full life fully clothed.The Worst Writing Assignments Ever
Because these people have nothing to do all day but gossip, it should come as no shock that they have been comparing notes and everyone now knows that Natalie has been working both her Team Leave Jesus Out Of It alliance and the Girl Power alliance promising loyalty to everyone left in the game. Plus Matt. And God. And her family who will lose everything if she doesn’t win a game show. Maybe if that happens someone can write The Grapes of Wrath Part II following Natalie’s family - the modern day Joads. Perhaps the ghostwriter that is authoring Sheila’s auto-biography can tackle that project next.Can you imagine being paid to write about Natalie and Sheila? What a nightmare. I’d better change the subject before I realize that I actually do that four times a week.
