THE CHALLENGE
It’s four against four. Alison tells them they have an obstacle course this week. They have to flip large tires four times, carry sand filled bags, crawl on their bellies to put balls in a bin, and then race ½ mile to the finish line. The entire team must cross the line to win. For the winning team, it’s two tickets to Puerto Rico for each member, courtesy of Cheap Caribbean. Dang, Biggest Loser! First they take a BUS to Vegas, now they get tickets from CHEAP Caribbean. The writer’s strike didn’t affect this show, did it?
Of course, Kelly starts whining right off the bat about being the weakest link. Kelly, think it, and it shall be. Didn’t anyone ever tell you? Roger is confident they’ll dust the Black team. Of course, they do, and they win the trip to Puerto Rico. And of course, Kelly cries.
TIP OF THE WEEK FROM BOB
Do army crawls on all fours with 3 lb. weights in your hands, 10 times each way. Uh, hello! How many mats will it take me to do ten paces in each direction? I mean damn, I want to lose weight, but carpet burns ain’t part of the plan.
AS WE ENTER THE NEXT HOUR
Bob arrives and the Blues fess up to behaving in Vegas. Bob asks why Mark is so quiet. He doesn’t want to rat out Dan for not exercising, so he doesn’t say anything.
Brittany is worried she won’t be able to pull off losing 8 lbs. At the last chance workout, Jillian doesn’t care how Brittany feels, she works her hard. She pumps the treadmill up to 14 miles per hour and dares her to jump off. Finally, Brittany completes her run. Then she cries too.
45 MINUTES TO WEIGH IN
At the weigh-in, the Blue team is very confident. Bob, no so much. Jillian is hopeful. I admit all of the players look much smaller than they have previously, so someone’s doing something right. Personally, I’ve lost 18 lbs. for the green team, so I’m interested to see what Jennifer’s been doing at home. The Black team steps up to the scale first. Kelly:6, Maggie:8, Brittany:6, Bernie:10. They have lost 30 lbs, with a percentage of weight loss of 3.69%. Somehow, that translates into the Blue team needing to lose 34 lbs. (I don’t know how either) They step up. Dan, Roger and Jay pull relatively small numbers for them, but they do alright. Then Mark, the brother who works out diligently and pushes everyone else loses a grand total of…one pound. He is shocked. They are shocked. We are shocked. They lose the weigh-in. We need a commercial break, but instead we find out Bernie is the Biggest Loser of the Week, The Black team ain’t going anywhere, and Dan can’t be voted off since he’s got immunity. Bob, who has thankfully swapped his man-capris for a pair of jeans, is not happy at all. Jillian says goodbye to her team and they skip off into the sunset.
SO WHO LEAVES?
Roger reminds Mark that he has volunteered to leave the week they sent Trent home. Dan knows the brothers will never cancel each other out, so he’s thankful for immunity. Roger and Mark argue back and forth about Mark leaving and finally, Mark realizes he needs to man up and get back to snatching honey buns from his son, Brady.
ELIMINATION
There are speeches. Crying jags. Inaudible words through tears. In fact, they were so choked up I thought we were watching Beaches or Brian’s Song. Finally, after hearing “One, Two, Three, PRIDE!” too many times, eleven 2-minute commercial breaks, and enough tears for a new Kleenex advertisement, Mark is sent home, where he has lost a total of 90 lbs, and looks good. And this week, no twist, but the teams are getting separated next week. It’s about time.
