Mar 28 2008
Who Do You Like?
The show opened with Trump, flanked by his progeny (Ivanka, Don, Jr.), talking about the Piers Morgan versus Trace Adkins showdown. He asked his kids who they liked more - and pay close attention here, because you're only going to hear this about 500 more times before the night is over - both say (more or less) that Trace is a great guy, while Piers is incredibly effective when it comes to business.
Out of the Jungle?
Only 10 minutes into the show and we’ve already heard two things that made us go, 'Huh?' The first, the announcer calling Trump 'the biggest celebrity of them all,' and the second was Trump declaring that the final two had 'come out of the jungle.' We know he didn't mean that literally but we can't quite wrap our heads around that analogy.
Have You Been Reading?
If you've been reading our recaps of this season of ‘The Celebrity Apprentice,’ than you could have ignored about 10 minutes of the show which recapped the last 12 weeks, starting with the hot dog task and ending with the big charity fundraiser that both Piers and Trace were working to pull together.
Fabled Rolodex?
Piers disputed the fact that he had a 'fabled rolodex' and was solely relying on his celebrity contacts, but he did manage to contact some rather cool people - Sharon Osbourne (wife of Ozzy and his co-judge on 'America's Got Talent'), Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber (who offered up tickets to the opening night of the Phantom of the Opera sequel) and someone named 'Howard.' Frankly, we think it's a combination of having an amazing rolodex, and working for things. You don't accumulate wealthy and influential friends who would be willing to help you out if you didn't put some work into your relationships, and even if they are your friends, you still need to call them up and do a little convincing so we do give Piers credit on his fundraising abilities.
He Said 50, Stephen!
Stephen Baldwin was still struggling with calling in celebrities to attend the charity event. Piers had requested that Stephen sell about 50 tickets and Stephen managed. . .five. Piers wasn't real happy with that.
A Man's Man
Trace was still trying to meet the demands of the Backstreet Boys, who were now requesting black nail polish in addition to everything else in their rider. Trace thought this was ridiculous and stated that he was the 'most heterosexual cowboy' and was going to buy nail polish not for women, or for his wife, but for a guy.
Much Needed Hug
Trace's wife and two little girls (who were wearing adorable matching outfits) paid him a surprise visit, which really seemed to boost his spirits. He stated that he really needed to see them and to get a much needed hug from his little girls.
A Drunk and His Money Are Soon Parted?
During a staff meeting with the caterers, Piers declared that the general strategy for the evening would be to get the attendees drunk as fast as possible. To that end, the drinks should flow freely while the food should be handed out sparingly. Piers stated that rich people or celebrities tend to buy things and give away their money faster and easier when they're drunk and he was trying to facilitate that.
Yet One More Thing
During a sound check, one of the Backstreet Boys - Howie - announced that he had hurt his knee and would be needing a knee brace, which of course, meant that Trace would have to make another trip to the drugstore. Trace, predictably, was not happy about this.
'When I Was Your Age. . .'
Trace was also still in search of the elusive wheatgrass juice requested by Nick Carter, and this led to Trace giving the audience his version of 'I had to walk 50 miles in the snow' story to illustrate how kids today are just a bunch of wimps. In Trace's case, he performed while enduring excruciating stomach pains, which led to him going to the ER after he got off the stage and resulted in having 18 inches of his colon removed.
Judging Criteria
During the live telecast, Trump announced that Trace and Piers would be judged based on ticket sales, auction sales and 'overall, how they did,' which is really Trump-speak, for 'it allows me to pick a winner based on my random whims.'
Bidder, Bidder
Famed auction house, Christie's, was running the auction and Piers dominated. Turns out that the mysterious 'Howard' he had called earlier was Howard Lutnick, billionaire CEO of financial giant, Cantor Fitzgerald, and he started things off big by bidding $100,000 for tea with Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York. He also bid $100,000 for 'a night with the Osbournes (Sharon and Ozzy).' Finally, Piers managed to get Simon Cowell to call in and bid on the shopping spree with Ivanka Trump and Simon won the bidding contest for another cool $100,000. Meanwhile, Trace's auction items weren't doing as well in comparison, based on what we were shown. For instance, Ivanka won a dinner with Trace for the ‘bargain price’ of $6,000.
Moment of Unity
As the Backstreet Boys performed - without getting their wheatgrass juice - Piers had a moment of solidarity with Trace and his team. Piers declared that he was proud of what he and his team had accomplished that evening, and he was proud of Trace's team as well. There was a nice moment when all six of them (Piers, Stephen, Carol, Trace, Lennox and Marilu) stood together and watched the performance, basking in the glow of their successful evening.
The Non-Live Boardroom
The momentary truce between Piers and Trace go straight out the window when they get into the (non-live) Boardroom with Trump and his progeny. Piers declared that he did the best job, raising the most money and was the most effective. Meanwhile, Trace took the 'nicest guy here' tact and declared that he conducted himself with honor and integrity. Turns out that there was a split in how they performed. Piers, predictably, won on auction sales - raising $376,000 to Trace's $64,000.
