The Model
Brooke Burke was paired with Derek Hough, who noted that one of her assets was her “hyperextended legs” and he planned to make use of that. We’re not sure what he meant as Brooke’s legs look normal (if very toned) to us. They danced the cha-cha-cha and Brooke was fairly good although hesitant in parts. Carrie Ann called her a “supermom” and thought it was “amazing.” Bruno said “Brooke is going for broke!” and cried, “what a debut!” Len said it was “the best dance so far.” Carrie Ann gave Brooke a 7, while Bruno and Len gave her 8’s for a total of 23.
The Journeyman Actor
Ted McGinley, who has been on shows like “The Love Boat” and “Married with Children,” was paired with new pro, Inna Brayer. Inna noted that making Ted “look graceful is going to be a challenge.” Dancing the Foxtrot, Ted wasn’t bad, but he was clearly counting his steps. Carrie Ann said he had “great potential [and] great lines.” Bruno said that Ted started with “the elegance of Cary Grant [but then] turned into Steve Carrell in Get Smart.” Len noted that Ted’s legs “got in front of [his] body” but overall, it was a “good job.” Ted got 6’s from all the judges for a total of 18.
The Boy Band Member
Ex-N’Sync-er Lance Bass paired up with new pro and former So You Think You Can Dance finalist, Lacey Schwimmer. Lacey noted that she had a “freaky crush on N’Sync” so she was thrilled to be working with Lance. Lance noted that contrary to popular belief, he was “the worst dancer of the group” so this would be a challenge for him. They danced the cha-cha-cha and it was a more edgy cha-cha-cha. They had good energy but Lance was a bit stiff at times. Carrie Ann said it was “hot, hot, hot” and that they “nailed it.” Bruno said it was “edgy, spunky [and they] should be proud.” Len, however, didn’t like the “young and modern” take on the dance, wanting something more “traditional.” Carrie Ann and Bruno gave Lance 8’s but Len dinged him with only a 6 (earning him a dirty look from Bruno). Lance’s total was 22.
The Vet
Cloris Leachman, at 82, is the oldest contestant on the show. She is paired with new pro, Corky Ballas, Mark Ballas’s father. They danced the Foxtrot and Cloris was very graceful but the dance was very, very slow. She did receive a standing ovation, however. Carrie Ann said that was what you’d call a “golden oldie” and Cloris was “grace on the dance floor.” Bruno said it was like Cloris was “floating on the dance floor.” Len said “at your age, I’m surprised at how well you danced.” Cloris was mugging for judges, at one point, sitting on Carrie Ann’s lap, and Len was called her “boytoy” by Tom. All that didn’t seem to help because she only got 5’s from Bruno and Len, and a 6 from Carrie Ann for a total of 16.
The Comedian
Jeffrey Ross was paired with Edyta Sliwinska, and he joked that he was doing this show because there wasn’t a show called “Eating with the Comedians.” Jeff suffered a scratch to his cornea during pre-show rehearsals but vowed to continue to dance. He said he was “born to dance [and he’d] go blind if [he] had to.” We don’t think that’s necessary, but maybe a bit more grace because his cha-cha-cha was very stompy.. Carrie Ann said his “form was bad [and his] musicality was off.” Bruno said the “begging at the end didn’t work.” Len gave a rather bland compliment saying “everyone who does [this show] is a winner.” Jeff got 4’s from all the judges, for a total of 12.
The Reality Show Star
Kim Kardashian was paired with last year’s champ, Mark Ballas. She noted that she has “terrible balance” so dancing was a challenge for her. Dancing the Foxtrot, she did relatively well, although her dance wasn’t very exciting or memorable. Carrie Ann said that she “moved well [but her] head stays still” which may be why she’s not connecting with the audience, because she’s not making eye contact. Bruno said she was like “Princess Jasmine in Aladdin” but she “didn’t connect with the audience.” Len said it was “clean [with] nice musicality” but “a bit cold.” She needs to put “more emotions into it.” Carrie Ann and Bruno gave her 6’s, while Len gave her a 7 for a total of 19.
The Soap Star
Soap legend, Susan Lucci, was paired with Tony Dovalani. Susan confessed that she “feels scared to death” about dancing on the show. She danced the cha-cha-cha and in her skimpy dance outfit, she looked teeny, tiny. Her dance was stiff and rather slow for a cha-cha-cha. Carrie Ann said that Susan’s body “is banging” but she may need to put on a bit of weight because she “looked a bit frail.” Bruno said Susan was a “beautiful lady [but] unfortunately, the cha-cha needs a slut.” He advised her to “let yourself go a little more.” Len said it was “neat and precise [but] a bit too careful.” Susan got 5’s from all the judges for a total of 15.
The Volleyball Player
Fresh off her gold medal in beach volleyball in Beijing, Misty May-Treanor, paired up with Maksim Chmerkovskiy. Maksim noted that Misty was “very muscular” and that they were trying to find her inner gracefulness. They did a fairly good job at locating it because her Foxtrot was nice, although she did have a few missteps. Carrie Ann said she “loved the intensity” that Misty brought to the dance but cautioned her on not trying to “muscle everything.” Bruno said Misty was “glowing on the dance floor” but he advised her to “spot [her] turns [and to] watch [her] shoulders.” Len said she “danced beautifully.” Carrie Ann gave her a 6, Bruno a 7, and Len an 8 for a total of 21.
The Pro Bowler
Warren Sapp was paired with Kym Johnson and he noted that his dance, the cha-cha-cha, had “a lot of footwork and [he likes] footwork.” Kym was surprised by Warren’s size but said that he was “surprisingly light on his feet.” Warren really was surprisingly light on his feet and for such a big man, he was very agile. Carrie Ann said that Warren was “so cute [and] so much fun.” Bruno declared that “big boys can dance!” Len called Warren a “great big bundle of joy.” Warren got 7’s from all the judges for a total of 21.
