Mar 21 2008

ELIMINATION

Shannon and Ronnie were put up for the vote after last week’s cemetery shoot. As dead as Shannon looked on cue, it wasn’t lifeless enough for the judges. Ronnie was called down for having the same look week after week. The two prepare to leave the house. Well, sort of. Shannon packs, even though she feels it’s unfair for her to be in the bottom two since Ronnie has been there four times already. Ronnie only throws some underwear in a bag, very confident that America loves him and he’ll be back with Ben in no time. He’s right, a shocked Shannon is sent home, and we finally get to see the facial expression they were looking for in the cemetery. I don’t know what Shannon is doing now, but her exit interview on bravotv.com shows her confessing to making out with Stephanie, and loving it.

Ronnie arrives back at the house. Perry and Ben are stoked, Holly clearly is not. She is now the only female in a house full of immature male model wannabes, one of which even had the nerve to turn her portrait around on the wall so no one could see it. I shudder to think how the bathroom looks. In yet another total waste of reality TV airtime, Tyson arrives and introduces his BFF, supermodel Naomi Campbell to the models. They are in awe of her, and the guys can barely keep their mouth closed. Naomi goes through their portfolios, and without giving any constructive criticism at all, makes comments about the photos. Most of the comments are about how she could not have done the same poses, as in underwater (can’t wet the weave) or with the snake (yick!). Then she leaves, having given no advice or gifts. Nothing. Just an appearance by Naomi Campbell. The whole time she was talking though, I was trying to imagine her throwing a cell phone at someone.

LAST PHOTO ASSIGNMENT

Nikki tells the models that their last assignment before the big reveal is a photo shoot depicting natural elements. Translation: nude, as if we didn’t already know that was coming. Miss Priss, Holly, really loosens up for this shoot and gets in character. She does a great job, even though the photographer feels she needs to tighten up her body. Perry’s private parts are shaved, and he has to do the “tuck the thing” thing. He also asks the guy doing the final prints to photoshop over his tattoo of an “A” for his former girlfriend, Amanda, who is now with Britney Spear’s possible new married babydaddy. They oblige so he doesn’t have to look back on this experience and see her in his head. Ronnie impresses, although I still see the same expressions through all the makeup. When they leave, they go to a studio reception and are happy to see both regular folks and celebrities viewing their portraits. Holly, who needs to tighten it up, indulges in a glass of high calorie champagne. It’s all good though, her portrait, with her hair on fire, rocks and she deserves it. What’s up with judge Jennifer Star, casting agent to the stars? Either she is (a) sucking her cheeks in, (b) there is a new celebrity face sucker-inner that’s the opposite of botox, or (c) she’s distantly related to Cher. No matter which, she needs to stop.

THE LAST CATWALK

Christian Siriano, über seamtress, or whatever the male version would be called, that won Project Runway this season, makes a guest appearance to give runway lessons. Not sure why though. Anyhow, he gives Holly a dress made especially for her. The models head on down the runway in underwear, preppy clothes and formal wear. Then, instead of an elimination round, we find that America will be voting for a Supermodel from this final four. Next week is the reunion, which I will not cover, but tune in two weeks from now for the finale. Ciao!