Photo of Jonny Fairplay
WELCOME TO MICRONESIA!
Tonight we meet the contestants for the Fans vs. Favs season. The “Fans” are escorted via canoe to an island and meet up with Jeff Probst, who I sincerely hope arrived via computer generation on that helicopter. There’s a rainstorm brewing, and the players get a taste of things to come as there is no shelter yet.
There’s Jason, who interviews that he’s living his wildest dream just being there. There’s Tracy, who just happened to be on the news this morning from her Spotsylvania, Virginia home, telling us all about her island adventure -- all except who made it to the final three since she’s bound by contract to keep her mouth shut. Rounding out the ten are Alexis, Chet, Erik, Joel, Kathy, Mikey, Mary and Natalie. Jeff asks them who they think will be playing against, and one by one, the Favs from past seasons make their entrances. Cirie (Panama/Exhile), Ozzy, Parvati, and Jonathan (Cook Islands), Amanda and James (China), Eliza and Amy (Vanuatu), Yau-Man (Fiji), and Jonny Fairplay (Pearl Islands) all arrive looking overly confident and surprisingly dressed to impress. And yes, Amanda will be censored again this season. Soon as they have one more good rain.
There is some unnecessary banter between Jeff Probst and Jonny Fairplay, who has been played up as the player to watch this season. Then Jeff tells the Fans that they will be the AIRAI tribe and hands out orange bandanas, which he calls something else. He then tells the Favs that they will be the MALAKAL tribe and they get their purple bandanas. I’m sure the tribe names have significance, but I missed that part trying to spell the tribe names. Let’s move right along…
LET THE GAMES BEGIN
Jeff points to another island, across the water, where there are two canoes with maps to their new homes. Also, there are two idols in the vicinity of the boats, one for each team, and they can only be played at the first tribal council. Jeff yells “GO” and the tribes swim, wade, and walk across the water to the other side. Erik, a Fan on Airai, is just happy that he was the first to the other island and beat out Fav Ozzy. Jonny Fairplay grabs an idol off of one of the boats. He then notices the other idol is placed right in front of the other boat. He makes a run for it, but just as he gets there, Yau-Man comes out of nowhere and tackles him and not only grabs the other idol, but knocks the one Jonny Fairplay already has out of his hands. As Jonny Fairplay, who eerily refers to himself in the third person, whines about being knocked over, Yau-Man tells Kathy, from the other team, to pick up the other idol for her team. That was NOT necessary…
HOME SWEET HOME
Airai arrives (…get it? Airai Arrives…they even said it so it’s not THAT corny…) at their new home. Jason says that on their team they have Big Bird (Kathy), Jon Bon Jovi (Erik), The Incredible Hulk (Joel) and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (Chet). I’d have to say that’s accurate. Unfortunately, we get tired of Kathy straight out of the box. For some reason, she decides to ask Chet if he’s gay. Then she asks Chet what the politically correct term for gay is these days. Then she overshares that she has never had a gay friend. Chet tells her she probably has and just doesn’t know it. Then Big Bird moves on over to Tracy, admires her boob job and tells her that she’s never seen a full set up close before. And this woman has the immunity idol.
